It took me really a long time to decide to finally drop this little love bomb in here.
I had/have many stories around it being too long, not interesting enough, too intimate, about me being too naive, too dreamy, too mellow, too this too that.
Well the thing is that lately my intuition, the universe, god, life, you name it, have been throwing at my face this simple message: be transparent!
So here Am I being transparent!
If there is one thing I want to be very transparent and committed about is the healing and evolution of relations between men and women and I think this sharing is all about that too.
Women are tagged as being too sensitive, low drama queens, manipulative, too dreamy, too mellow and I’m tired of carrying this burden around and because of it hide my feelings for fear of being too much.
I don’t want to share my truth, my pain and what ever I feel about my intimate relations, with my girlfriends, some women sharing circle or my therapist. I want to share it with all of you, both men and women, I want to heal and expand the patriarchal box all together, in radical honesty and responsibility.
And I’m beyond happy to have more and more open conversations and explorations around this topic with men and women lately.
I see how much of a burden we both carry for the simple fact being born with a Vagina or a Penis and I’m so angry, scared and sad that we need to spend our time proving ourselves and others that we’re not (only) that box that was built in stone over centuries and centuries of traumatic patriarchy. I guess there is space for many more articles and/or podcasts around this topic and I'll definitely come back to this soon.
Now back to this vulnerable podcast/recording that was actually the catalyst behind the decision to extend my road trip through Spain and France last September, and what made me be still today in Marseille. Yes, it’s powerful to voice out what’s alive!
The amount of doorways for healing and evolution that came after this “simple” decision was just tremendous: I’ve started my own dance activity, launched my website cataroxca.com, am co-organising a love temple retreat happening in October, will soon be co-managing a bridge for healing and evolution space in Marseille, have been discovering my inner artist and street improviser, got into teaching body expression to teenagers and so on.
And even if the connection with this beautiful being has sadly dissolved soon after it started I’m very grateful for the life burning energy it sparked in me and all the relational healing that happened because of it.
Well enough of reading, time for you to lay back and listen.
Will you tell me how and if this sharing touched you? What do you think and feel about it?
With much love,
Catarina
The emotional roller coaster of a heart cracking open